What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 12:50
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Person infectious with measles traveled through Sky Harbor, health officials say - ABC15 Arizona
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Can a twin flame runner be happy in a karmic relationship?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I will be 64.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And who doesn’t know suffering?
What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?
I don,t even have a pension.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Cher’s Son Elijah Blue Allman Hospitalized After ‘Acting Erratically’ - Rolling Stone
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
And i lived it daily.
I was seconnd youngest,
She was in good health!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I was 9 years of age.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Why did i forgive my father ?
She loved him until the end.
What should you answer when someone says to you in French, "au plaisir de vous revoir"?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
It was going to be , some day.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im still living with it.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
My family never makes their pension either.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One cannot live in the past .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I was very sick at this time too.
Comes on , in middle age.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
When she asked me how she looked .
But, we were locked up after school.
We all went to grammer schools
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She married twice! .
Who then, do I blame.?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
This is soul school!.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Was to survive, this bastard.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
What did i know ?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I said to her
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Especially a lifetime of it.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I write beautiful poetry .
So, i spoilt her more .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I waited trembling.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Put me off passion for life!!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Would this be the day?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
(And it was in our own minds.)
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We were not on the streets..
I think the readers, may guess!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He resisted the act ,that day.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He knew the spot.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
All the time i was locked up.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Ive learnt so much.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
But it wasn’t much.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I have no regrets .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
My life is so biszare .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was scared of men, in general
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She found it foreign!.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
So whats the point in blame.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She wouldn,t have been !